Listen to your body. We hear that a lot don’t we?
On the surface, it sounds like good advice, but what does listening actually mean? I believe it’s something that most of us haven’t been taught to do particularly well. We’ve had very little education around how to actually listen to our bodies, beyond noticing when something hurts, changes or feels uncomfortable.
We’ve often been taught to pay attention to the body through the lens of something being wrong:
Body speaks → symptom → identify problem → fix problem
My preferred alternative way is:
Body speaks → notice → explore → understand → choose how to respond
That second pathway is what I mean when I talk about body literacy.
A sensation isn’t a complete message
When we say I feel something in my body, there can actually be several different layers to what we’re experiencing.
There is the sensation itself:
Fluttering.
Heat.
Tightness.
Pressure.
Tingling.
Heaviness.
Softness.
Expansion.
Then there might be the feeling that accompanies the sensation:
Excitement.
Fear.
Attraction.
Aversion.
Pleasure.
Openness.
Contraction.
And then there is the interpretation we make of those experiences:
Something is wrong.
I want this.
I’m unsafe.
I’m attracted to them.
I need to get away.
This must mean…
These things can happen so quickly that we often collapse them into one experience.
We feel something → decide what it means → respond.
But becoming more body-literate can mean creating a little more space between experiencing something and deciding what it means. Noticing the sensation is one thing. Becoming curious about what else is present, what might be influencing it and what it could mean is another.
Take butterflies, for example
Imagine you meet someone and immediately feel butterflies in your stomach.
The obvious interpretation might be:
I’m attracted to them. And perhaps you are. But butterflies are a sensation, not a definitive answer, they might accompany excitement, anxiety, or arise because this person feels familiar in some way. They could be nervous-system activation, or attraction and activation. This is where context and curiosity are important.
Instead of immediately deciding: My body says yes! We might become curious:
What exactly am I experiencing here?
What else is happening?
How do I feel in this person’s presence over time?
Does this feel expansive, contracted, settled, activated?
And importantly:
I don’t have to act immediately just because I’ve felt something strongly.
Body information isn’t the same as body instruction
I think we can sometimes swing between two extremes when it comes to listening to our bodies.
We can override the body:
I shouldn’t feel this.
It doesn’t matter.
Push through.
Don’t be ridiculous.
Or we can move towards blindly obeying the body:
I feel it, therefore it must be true.
My body says yes, so I should do it.
My body says no, so I must never question it.
Discernment plays a big part in becoming more body literate:
I notice → I understand more → I discern → I choose.
Discernment requires knowing something about your own internal landscape, your patterns, histories, preferences, desires, boundaries, sensitivities and habitual responses.
This is part of how self-trust develops. Not blind trust, just a deeper trust that comes from actually spending time getting to know yourself.
Body literacy includes pleasure too
So much of what we’re taught about listening to the body focuses on discomfort.
Pain.
Danger.
Stress.
Dysregulation.
What happens when the body says:
This feels good.
Can you notice that too?
Recognise pleasure without immediately moving on?
Stay with it?
Can you allow yourself to experience more of it without needing to perform, produce, achieve or turn it into something?
Experiencing something that feels really good and staying with it is body literacy too. Sensitivity isn’t only about becoming better at detecting what we don’t want, it is becoming more available to what we do want.
So what does “listening to your body” actually mean?
I don’t see listening to your body as a single skill, it is far more nuanced, like a relationship. A practice of noticing, of becoming curious, learning your patterns, distinguishing sensation from interpretation, considering context, developing discernment and allowing information to inform your choices.
It’s a process of becoming interested in yourself.
Sometimes the information your body gives you will feel clear, sometimes contradictory, or shaped by old experiences. And sometimes it will be unfamiliar because you’re encountering something genuinely new and simply won’t know yet.
Not knowing is ok. In fact, feeling that you don’t know what this sensation means yet, but being willing to stay curious about it is a great way to practice body literacy.
